From Managing Back to Connecting
Over the past few weeks, we've talked about what can happen when marriage slowly becomes more about managing life than actually connecting with each other.
We've talked about busy schedules, responsibilities, the energy life requires, and even how easy it is to assume we already know everything about the person we've been married to for years.
So now what?
I don't think getting back to connection always requires some big relationship reset.
Sometimes it starts much smaller than that.
It may be putting the phone down and giving each other ten uninterrupted minutes.
It may be asking, “How are you really doing?” and giving your spouse enough room to answer.
It may be riding in the car and talking about something other than the schedule, the bills, the children, or what needs to happen next.
Sometimes it's simply noticing that you've been moving so fast that you haven't really checked in with each other lately.
That's where intentional communication comes in.
And intentional doesn't mean forced.
You don't need to turn every conversation into a deep discussion about the marriage. Please don't have your spouse afraid to sit next to you because every time they do, here comes another “relationship conversation.” HA!
Connection should also feel natural.
Laugh together.
Ask questions.
Share something you've been thinking about.
Listen without immediately trying to fix, correct, or defend.
Be curious about the person sitting beside you.
And every now and then, talk about something that has absolutely nothing to do with running the household.
One of the things I want couples to remember is that you don't have to wait until something is wrong to reconnect.
You can simply decide:
“We've been busy. Let's make sure we're not missing each other.”
That's it.
Marriage is lived in real life, and real life will always bring responsibilities.
The goal isn't to stop managing the life you've built together.
The goal is to make sure you don't lose sight of each other while you're managing it.
So as we close this conversation, think about one small way you can be more intentional with your spouse this week.
Not perfect.
Not complicated.
Just intentional.
Talk. Listen. Connect.™
— Coach Trinette L. Collier-Greene
Relationship & Marriage Communication Coach
TLC Coaching | Talk. Listen. Connect.™
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